


Marshmallow Fluff

by yunyu



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Tabletop Gaming, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Awkward Flirting, Based on a Tumblr Post, Birthday Presents, Cunnilingus, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto) Feels, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Finding Your Voice, First Meetings, Fluff, Gen, Genin Teams, Genital Piercing, M/M, One Shot Collection, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Size Difference, Size Kink, Tea, Team Bonding, Teamwork, graphic descriptions of tea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2018-08-12 17:40:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7943329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yunyu/pseuds/yunyu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All fluffy one-shots, all the time. Tags/ratings updated accordingly.</p><p>1. "Wave o' Babies": @heykrista: "au where sakura and kakashi have 20 babies & are very happy" (rating: G)<br/>2. "Happy Birthday Kakashi-sensei": Genin Team 7 gen fluff. (rating: G)<br/>3. "Roll a Charisma Check": The tabletop RPG club AU absolutely nobody asked for. KakaSaku, SasuNaruSasu. Written for KakaSaku Week 2016, Prompt: Myths and Legends. (rating: T)<br/>4. "Wrong On The Internet": a FLUFF FRIDAY fic that is rated M for NO REASON, featuring HOT STEAMY TEA and absolutely NO ROMANCE, in which SOMEONE IS WRONG ON THE INTERNET, Kakashi CANNOT let this injustice STAND, and SAKURA is BRIBED with DANGO<br/>5. "I Am Taken By the Sun": a short rated M NaruHina ficlet about being with someone who wants to hear you<br/>6. "Cultivation": rated G ficlet about Yamato and his children (implied YamaAnko)<br/>7. "Heavy": rated M, PWP, tattoo artist Kisame wakes up med student Sakura for a little somethin' somethin'.<br/>8. "Say My Name": rated M, PWP, Shino x (female) reader.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wave o' Babies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "au where sakura and kakashi have 20 babies & are very happy"

“You know, when my shadow clones disappear, I get all their experiences at once. Everything they smell.  _All at once_.”

“Quit being such a big baby, Hokage-sama.” Sakura feels the rush of one of her own clones popping out of existence. The academy-aged kids are home.

“It’s not about being a big baby,” insists Kakashi, shifting the toddler he’s currently carrying to one hip so he can take a freshly changed toddler on the other hip from a shadow clone, so the clone can go upstairs and check on the wailing sounds coming from nursery #1. “It’s about a variety of sizes of babies, all of whom are experts at creating a variety of substances, all of which _reek_.”

“Oh, wasn’t that a good burp? Who’s a good little girl?” Sakura nuzzles the tiny baby on her shoulder, then turns back to her husband crossly. “Look, it was your idea that we set a good example for the village by taking in some orphans.”

“Eighteen is more than some—”

“Okay! Who’s ready to play tag dattebayo!” comes a roar from the front lawn.

“Unka Naruto! Unka Naruto!” The toddlers squirm to get down and Kakashi releases them with some relief.

Sakura steps closer to Kakashi and says more seriously, “Kakashi, are you seriously having regrets about this? I mean, would you send any of them away?”

Kakashi looks out the window at the huge number of kids, screaming and laughing as they romp with Naruto and his and Sakura’s shadow clones. He knew each and every one of them, remembered how they had looked when they first came into his home. He sighs. “No, I just want to reserve the right to bitch about it occasionally.”

Sakura gives him a sweet kiss. “Besides, by the time the twins come out, we’re both going to be so pro at this parenting thing.”

He grins, and wraps his arms around her bump.


	2. Happy Birthday Kakashi-sensei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura suggests that Team 7 get Kakashi-sensei a birthday gift. Genin team 7 fluff, written for the Kakashi Birthday Bash on Tumblr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For best results listen to ["Konoha no Gogo"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2PR_lq1P18) while you read.
> 
> A [furoshiki](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furoshiki) is a traditional cloth used to wrap presents and bento boxes in Japan.

“Okay! Dismissed. Don’t go talking to any strange photographers today, alright?” Team 7 is united in their glower, and their sensei tilts his head as he gives them an eye crease smile. “See you tomorrow at 6am.”

“You mean 9am,” mutters Sasuke, even though he’ll be there at 6 like the other two idiots.

“Ne, Sasuke-kun, when we were looking at sensei’s registration card yesterday, I happened to notice that his birthday is next week.”

“So what?”

“Well, maybe we should surprise him with a gift?”

Sasuke crosses his arms. “Why would I get him a gift?”

“Shouldn’t everyone get gifts from their friends on their birthday?”

“I’m not his friend,” says Sasuke, while Naruto says over him, “Hey! Hey! That’s a good idea, Sakura-chan! Maybe we should get him a case of cup ramen… that’s what I’d want for _my_ birthday dattebayo…” He leans suggestively on this last bit, eyes shining with a vision of Sakura-chan cutely presenting him a variety pack tied with a red ribbon.

“Ramen is a terrible present, Naruto,” snaps Sakura, dashing this vision to pieces. She turns back to Sasuke. “Well, we’re not his friends exactly, of course, but still… it wouldn’t have to be fancy. If we all contribute a little, we could brighten his day and then, maybe, he would go a day without trying to use Thousand Years of Death on one of us.”

There is a pause as all three shudder.

Sasuke mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, “Annoying,” but he reaches into his pocket and counts out some money. “Here,” he says, thrusting it at Sakura. “That’s my contribution. I’m going home.”

Sakura unfolds the money as Sasuke walks away. “Alright, Naruto. You take half, and I’ll take half. You handle the present, and I’ll buy the furoshiki and the card. Have it ready on the 15th. _Don’t forget_.”

“But I don’t know what he—” Sakura is already gone. “…likes ttebayo…” Naruto finishes mournfully. “…ramen is a terrible present…”

Over the next week, every time Naruto pulls out his little froggy money bag, he feels a pang of panic because he’s getting closer and closer to the big day and he can’t think of what to get for his sensei, other than porn, which won’t work because you can’t go in Pink Bookstore if you’re under eighteen.

The 15th begins to seem more like an upcoming day of execution.

_“Whaaaat? You didn’t get anything, Naruto?! Idiot!”_

_“What did you expect from the dobe.”_

_Kakashi-sensei winks out of sight in front of them, then suddenly Naruto feels the huge wave of chakra behind and below him indicating that he’s about the experience the worst anal pain imaginable—_

Naruto jerks awake in a panic. It’s the 15th, and he still hasn’t come up with anything, and he’s supposed to meet up with the rest of Team 7 in an hour, and the shops aren’t even open, and his butt is _just not ready for this_.

He jumps maniacally around his apartment, as if a gift will somehow materialize and save him. During one bounce off of a table, he nearly knocks one of his many houseplants off, but his reflexes manage to right it just in time.

“That’s it!” he screams, and hears the familiar thumb of a broom handle on the ceiling of the apartment below and the neighbour bellowing, “Some of us need to sleep, you brat!”

He arrives at the training ground a few minutes late, and Sakura and Sasuke are already there. Sakura is showing Sasuke the kunai-print furoshiki she managed to find somewhere and chattering non-stop about how she chose between two different birthday cards, while Sasuke’s face gives no indication that he’s even listening.

“Good morning, Sakura-chan!”

“What did you bring, Naruto?” she says to him, hands on hips.

He triumphantly displays the little plant, and her eyes widen.

“That’s… actually not bad, Naruto. It looks like it’s in good condition, anyway.” She takes the plant and delicately wraps the pot in the furoshiki, tying it with a pretty bow, and then sets it carefully upon one of the stumps. Sakura leans the card against the stem of the plant, steps back, frowns, steps forward, and adjusts the card minutely. “There, perfect.”

They wait around doing nothing for an hour or so, when Kakashi-sensei suddenly body flickers in front of them with a lazy, “Yo.”

“Happy birthday sensei!” chorus Sakura and Naruto, and while Sasuke doesn’t join in, his mouth twists like he’s fighting off a smile.

Kakashi’s visible eye widens. “How did you know it was my birthday?”

“It was on your identification card dattebayo!” says Naruto before Sakura can hush him.

Their sensei leans forward with a dark look. “That… is classified information…” His hand reaches up towards his hitai-ate.

The three students shrink back in fear, but his hand keeps going past his face and pats each one of them on the head while they’re all still frozen. “Buuuuut… I’ll let it slide since you got me a gift.” He straightens up and eye crinkles at them while they all sag with relief.

“Here it is, Kakashi-sensei!” says Sakura, presenting the plant with a proud smile. “I wrapped it.”

“Well, I got the plant!” cuts in Naruto, wanting his share of the credit.

“I paid for it,” says Sasuke, grudgingly.

Kakashi takes the plant with a happy sigh. “Ah, the gift of teamwork. I’ll take this home right away, so it doesn’t get damaged while we train. As a thank you, I’ll teach you all a powerful jutsu today.”

The three students perk up instantly, and Sakura and Naruto squeal, “Really???”

“Yes,” Kakashi smirks. “Get ready to learn the Thousand Years of Death!”

He body flickers away, and the three genin topple over in dismay.


	3. Roll a Charisma Check

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tabletop RPG club AU absolutely nobody asked for. KakaSaku, SasuNaruSasu. Written for KakaSaku Week 2016, Prompt: Myths and Legends.
> 
> I don't usually ship SasuNaruSasu but I did this one especially for everybody's favourite pet troll g.o.d, hope you hate it :D

“So… this club is cool with girls, right?”  
  
Ino turned the car off and nodded. “Oh yeah. I mean, there’s definitely more guys involved than girls, but the guys we have are pretty cool. If anyone tries to come in and be creepy we kick them out pretty quickly.”

“And it’ll be okay that I haven’t played before?” Sakura asked as she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door.

“Forehead girl. Relax. If you aren’t enjoying yourself, flip everybody the double deuce and go to the Starbucks next door, and I’ll drive you home after. Okay?”

“Okay.”

As they walked in together, Sakura awkwardly holding the character sheet that Ino had helped her assemble, a lot of people turned to wave or say hello to them. Seemed like Ino was pretty well known here.

“Shikamaru? How’d they wrangle you into doing set-up?”

“Temari bitched at me until I agreed, because Kankurou’s at some kind of performing arts festival this weekend. Troublesome.” A harassed looking guy with a spiky ponytail twisted a sign-in sheet around towards the two of them.

“Ooh, Kakashi is DMing table 7, and he’s playing 3.5, which is what I had you prepare. We’ll sign you up for that one, Sakura! He comes up with the craziest adventures. Besides, I can see Naruto and Sasuke have the other slots and they  _never_  play clerics.” Ino was already writing down her name in the last slot before she could protest that she was hoping they could be in the same adventure. “And I’ll be at table 10 with you, Shikamaru.”

“Oh joy.”

“So which table is it?” Sakura said, still clutching her character sheet and the bag of Ino’s extra dice like an extremely inadequate shield and mace.

Ino pointed to a rectangular table with three guys already sitting down. Two sat together on one side: one a tanned bleach blonde in a Land Of Fire University sweat shirt, talking a mile a minute to the other, a devastatingly handsome man, pale and brooding, who was arranging a row of dice in front of him with utmost care. 

“Wow.”

“If you’re looking at who I think you’re looking at, that’s Sasuke, and don’t waste your time. Naruto is his boyfriend.”

“Oh.” Well, she wasn’t joining the club to find a date anyway.

On the other side of the table, partially concealed behind a cardboard screen, slouched a man wearing a surgical mask and a fedora slanted forward over one eye, reading a book. As Ino pulled Sakura over towards the table, it became apparent that it was  _Icha Icha Violence_ , from the famous smut series. Alarm bells about creeps were going off in her head but it was too late to catch Ino’s eye and bail. She was already saying, “Hey guys! This is the friend I was telling you about last time, Sakura! I finally convinced her to give it a try, so don’t scare her off, ok?”

“Hey, Kaka-sensei! You should tip your hat and say m’lady dattebayo!”

Sasuke gave him a disgusted look. “Why would he do that?”

“Because it’d be funny!”

“It would be stupid, stupid,” muttered Sasuke, adjusting one of his dice a millimetre.

“Shut up bastard,” Naruto said cheerfully, whacking his boyfriend on the shoulder, then turned back to Sakura. “He goes on Reddit, you know, and white knights for the girls in  _Icha Icha,”_ Naruto said conspiratorially towards the girls. “For  _hours.”_

“I don’t do that,” said Kakashi, not lifting his eyes from his book.

“You told me that was what you were doing last time you were late to our tutoring session!”

“Maa, I lied,” said Kakashi, finally lifting up his head and smiling at Sakura, gesturing to her to have a seat next to Naruto. Ino gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and dashed off to talk to another table.

“What?! Then why were you so late?”

“Let’s see… it was because…” Kakashi looked at the ceiling with great concentration, then suddenly smiled. “Oh yeah. I hate you.”

Naruto sputtered and Sasuke cracked an unwilling smile.

“So uh… do you want to see my character sheet, or…” Sakura said.

Kakashi put out a hand to take it and scanned it while Naruto said, “Remind me why I’m paying you to tutor me again?”

“Because he’s the only one who can get anything through your thick skull, dobe,” said Sasuke. To Sakura he added, “I don’t know why Ino put you at our table.” While it wasn’t exactly friendly, it didn’t really come off as a personal rejection either.

"This will be interesting,” said Kakashi, his visible eye crinkling. “Ino rolled up a level 1 human cleric for her.”

“But this is a Rokugan campaign and you told us to prepare level 5s,” objected Sasuke.

“No, no, I can work with this,” said Kakashi, handing Sakura back her sheet and busily scribbling into a notebook.

Sasuke scowled. “You better not be planning to dumb this down.”

“You’re such a fucking minmaxer,” said Naruto.

“If you want another TPK go play at Guy’s table,” Sasuke shot back.

_Minmaxer? TPK?_

“A minmaxer is someone who is obsessively focused on gaming the system to produce the strongest character. TPK means total party kill, a complete wipe of everyone playing,” said Kakashi, as if he read her mind. “Cool it with the jargon, kids.”

“Whatever you say, old man,” growled Naruto, then suddenly brightened. “Hey! Check out the minifigs I made for my character!” He fished around in a backpack and produced two Lego figurines. “This is for when he’s in human form, and this is for fox form!”

“The fox form is out of character knowledge for the rest of you by the way,” said Kakashi. “Let’s get down to business. So. You all meet in an inn–”

Sasuke and Naruto groaned loudly.

“You all meet in a fucking inn, and don’t think I won’t make you take a penalty for being drunk if you piss me off,” warned Kakashi, shutting up both guys effectively. “You are all mercenaries waiting to be hired. An old man comes in, saying he’s a bridge builder who needs an escort. He’s already hired one bodyguard, named Kakashi–”

“What, we’re using our actual names for our characters?” said Sasuke.

“It’ll be easier for Sakura starting out.”

Naruto pouts. “Aw, but I picked a really cool name this time. Kurama!”

“You’ll live. Kakashi, the bodyguard, says he needs more people, but the bridge builder, Tazuya, is on a budget. So all he can afford is you three.”

“Where does he want to be escorted to?” Sasuke asks, pulling a hardcover book titled  _Oriental Adventures_  out of his bag and opening to the index.

Kakashi mockingly waggled a finger at Sasuke. “No such luck this time, Sasuke-kun. It’s not in there. You’re going to the Land of Waves.”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, we haven’t established something very important here yet.” Everyone looked at Naruto expectantly, and he said earnestly, “Are there any hot people in this inn?”

* * *

When they took a snack break, Sakura had to admit that it was more fun than she expected. Since her character was signficantly weaker than the rest of the party to begin with, it didn’t matter so much if she made mistakes, because she was practically a second escort NPC to the rest of the party. But she also had the excitement of being the only one to level up, when a combination of a natural 20 and some good roleplaying made her the first to master a new skill that the NPC bodyguard was teaching the player characters.

“So what did you think?” said Kakashi. He was slouching against the wall by the snack table with his hands in his pockets. “Good enough to come back next time? I would hate to have your character die a horrible death off-stage. I prefer to kill my players in front of me, where I can watch them curse my name and the names of all my dogs.”

“Do you really have dogs?” Sakura popped a Cheeto into her mouth.

“I have eight dogs,” he said. “I like dogs more than most people. In both senses. Here, do you want to see them?”

He pulled out his phone and Sakura exclaimed suitably at picture after picture of some truly cute dogs. “Wow, everything from a pug to a shiba to a bull mastiff.”

“You like dogs?”

“Yeah, I do, but I never had one growing up. My mother’s allergic. I went through a phase where I got all these books about dog breeds out of the library and researched them obsessively, deciding what dog I would get as soon as I was grown up.”

“And what did you decide?”

“I could never decide,” she laughed. “You’re lucky to be able to have eight. You must have a big house.”

“So do you have a dog now?”

“No, unfortunately. No pets clause.”

“Where’s the Mountain Dew?!” came a shout from the table. Sakura turned to see Naruto surveying the snack table with dismay.

“Kankurou’s not here, remember? Drink water for once. How the hell do you stay looking like that when you consume nothing but ramen and sugar anyway?” a girl with a wild, spiky blonde hairstyle who was sitting in Shikamaru’s lap said.

“Temari-san is right!” said a guy with an unfortunate bowl cut wearing a green tracksuit. “You must preserve your youth! Guy-sensei, you must give him the recipe for your famous protein shake.”

“I’ll hit the vending machines!” said Naruto in a panic, as a similarly track-suited guy stood up as if to give a speech.

* * *

At the end of the night, when they were all packing up (Naruto throwing everything into his backpack and chattering about how awesome it was that the NPCs named the bridge after him, Sasuke silently placing his dice into colour-coded velvet bags), a good-looking but very irritated man stalked up to their table. “Let me join your table next time, Kakashi.”

“Hello to you too, Neji,” said Kakashi, lazily folding his screen. “Usual good time with Guy?”

“We all died.  _Again.”_

“I am sure that your downfall burned brightly with the flames of your–”

“Don’t even say it. Yes or no? Otherwise I have to catch Asuma or Kurenai before they go out for a smoke.”

"Hmm. Let me talk with Guy. Maybe we can come up with a way to get everybody in our campaign.”

“Oh, like a tournament? That’s awesome! Do a tournament!” Naruto turned and shouted, “Hey, who wants to do a tournament campaign with Kakashi-sensei?”

There was a general atmosphere of approval. A man who had a packet of cigarettes in his hands–presumably Asuma–said, “Awesome, then I don’t have to DM anymore.”

“Do you see this?” Kakashi fanned a notebook at Naruto. “Do you see tournament plans in this? Look at this map I drew for the next mission.  _Look at it._ ”

“But a tournament is more fun dattebayo! What do you think, Sakura-chan?”

Amazing how she was already  _Sakura-chan_  to him. She couldn’t help but notice that Sasuke frowned slightly whenever Naruto used the affectionate suffix with her name. “I, um… my character’s quite weak, so I don’t see how she could keep up with the rest in a tournament…”

To her surprise, Kakashi’s visible eye widened, and then he pulled out a pen and began scribbling viciously in the notebook.

“Kakashi-sensei?”

“Don’t talk to me, I’m having ideas.” Kakashi tapped the end of the pen against his mask and scribbled some more. “I think we’ll be doing it. I’ll text you.”

Sakura excused herself to visit the restroom, and when she came back, most of the people were gone, except for Ino, who seemed to be exclaiming over an engagement ring on the finger of a diminutive, dark-haired girl, and Kakashi, who was still writing away in his notebook.

She walked up to him to pick up her stuff and said, “Um, Kakashi, do you want my number?”

His head jerked up and she could see a blush spreading behind his mask, so she hurriedly added, “I mean, for the game? Since you said you wanted to text us about it?”

“Oh, right, the game,” said Kakashi, looking down at the notebook he’d just been writing in as if he’d never seen it before, and then looking back up. “But uh… would it be alright if I texted you… not about the game? Like… friendsish stuff.” He immediately winced and put a hand to his forehead. “Friendsish stuff. Unbelievable.”

“Looks like you rolled a 1 on that one,” she teased, pulling the pen out of his hand and scribbling her name and number across the top of the page. “But fortunately for you I rolled a 20 on sense motive. Friendsish stuff sounds good to me.”

He lifted his head back up, and his fedora had shifted such that she could see both eyes, and the left one actually had a scar vertically bisecting it.

“Wow, that scar is–.” She stopped herself. “Sorry, that was horribly rude of me.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He gave her finger guns. “I’ll text you the story about it tonight?”

Now that was a lot smoother. “Sure,” she said.

“Okay, Forehead, let’s hit the road,” said Ino, strolling back over casually.

“Forehead?”

“I’ll trade you that story for the scar one.”


	4. Wrong on the Internet (Kakashi & Sakura, Rated M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a FLUFF FRIDAY fic that is rated M for NO REASON  
> featuring HOT STEAMY TEA and absolutely NO ROMANCE  
> in which SOMEONE IS WRONG ON THE INTERNET  
> Kakashi CANNOT let this injustice STAND  
> and SAKURA is BRIBED with DANGO

Sakura dashed through the opened window and rolled into a crouch. “What is it, Hokage-sama? What’s happened?”

“Oh, Sakura. You’re here at last. You’re good at this computer stuff, right?”

“Uh… well, I’m alright I guess. Shikamaru’s better at it–oh right, he’s in Suna. What is it? Some kind of urgent message to send to another Kage? Are you expecting a report?”

“I need your help making a Browseddit account. This slander campaign has got to be stopped.” He made a fist, and it sizzled a little with electricity as if he was unconsciously preparing a raikiri.

She blinked. “Is that really an emergency? I mean, I get that propaganda is important, but…”

“You’d understand if you read it, Sakura. Not only are they slut-shaming her, they are calling her  _stupid. Junko!_  The most brilliant heroine of any literary work I’ve ever read, and just because she enjoys–”

“Hold on just a moment here,” Sakura interrupts him. “Am I hearing this correctly, or am I in a daze caused by it being two in the freaking morning?”

“I tried to enter in my email but it won’t accept it, Sakura.” Kakashi ran his hands through his hair in dismay. “They can’t get away with this. The fandom just hasn’t been the same since the movies came out. These people call themselves fans and they haven’t even read the books! Can you believe that?”

“What I can’t believe is that I came here in my pajamas because of your urgent summons and it’s about  _Icha Icha!”_ She turned and would have left, but Kakashi was still faster than her and was between her and the window in an instant.

“But you’re already here, Sakura-chan,” he whined. “Please, please, I won’t be able to sleep if I can’t tell them they’re wrong and if I can’t sleep I won’t be able to work tomorrow and what if there is an emergency and the Hokage is delirious with fatigue, Sakura-chan? Konoha could be destroyed.”

She crossed her arms. “Destroyed by what?”

“Do you really want to take that chance, Sakura-chan?” Kakashi gave her his most glittering eye-smile. Now that he had use of both eyes, it was twice as potent. A kettle began to whistle, and he added, “And you can have any tea you want.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “And you’ll give me the day off tomorrow. And take me out for dango.  _And pay.”_

Kakashi winced a little at the last requirement, but he nodded. “It’s a deal, Sakura-chan!”

She sighed and sat down at the computer. “Fine. Jasmine please.”

Kakashi disappeared off somewhere into another part of the Hokage suite while Sakura skimmed over the page Kakashi was trying to access. It was a log-in screen, not a registration screen. She sighed again and found the button to register.

“You need to pick a username!” she called.

“Use whose name?”

“No, a  _username_. A fake name that people will know you by.”

“Oh. Uh. Scarecrow?”

“Ha, like that’s going to fool anybody,” she said as she wrote it in.

Kakashi giggled as he reappeared with a tray of tea things that he set down upon the low table. “You’d be surprised, Sakura-chan.”

“Alright, now, password.”

“Sure, it’s four words, all uppercase, one word, all lowercase.”

She stared him. “I’m going to let you type that in.”

She got up and glanced at the clock to note how long her tea was steeping while he rapidly tapped out something on the keys. When he rescinded the seat to her again, she clicked on the ‘register’ button, then navigated back to the page he wanted. “All set.”

“Really? That was it?”

“Yeah, you don’t even need an email for Browseddit. Just make sure you don’t forget that password if you don’t add an email address later.”

Kakashi was already rapidly typing with the same focus grimace she had seen him give enemies in the field countless times. It was amazing how well he picked up typing yet how obtuse he was about how computers worked. Possibly the only thing the genius of Konoha had ever been bad at.

She sat down in a comfy chair and poured herself a mug of tea, glad that he had gone for nice big mugs instead of tiny cups. Sakura loved tea but hated oversteeped tea as much as she hated trying to rush through her first cup before the second cup could oversteep. She breathed in the delicious floral aroma with her eyes closed, then exhaled and gazed into the pale green liquid whose steam was warming her face.

“Shall I pour yours?”

“My Earl Grey is brewing in the kitchen,” he said distractedly. “Sakura-chan, which do you think sounds better? ‘You never deserved to exit a vagina in the first place, let alone touch one after, and your entitlement is:  _appalling_  or  _pathetic_?’”

“Well, which is it? I haven’t read what they said.”

“It’s both,” he scowled.

“Then put both.”

“Excellent, excellent.” He typed rapidly for a minute or two more, then made a grand show of hitting enter. “There. They won’t know what hit them.”

Sakura shook her head and took another sip of tea. “As much as I understand that you miss fighting battles, Hokage-sama, people being wrong on the internet is  _not_  worth waking me up in the future. Got it?”

He huffed a little. “I just can’t understand how anyone could read such an amazing series and yet come away  _so wrong.”_

“Mm.”

“They were  _so wrong,_  Sakura.”

“I’ll bet.” Her tea had cooled enough that she could drain the rest of the mug. “Well, this has been nice, but I need to get home and back to sleep.”

“Why don’t you stay here? There’s plenty of spare rooms. You’ve got the day off tomorrow. I could make you breakfast!”

Her eyes widened, then she said suspiciously, “What’s the catch?”

“No catch! I just want the pleasure of your company!”

She considered it. Collapsing into an already available bed sounded a lot better then running back to her apartment in her pajamas. “Alright, show me the spare room.”

Kakashi led her to a nicely appointed room and told her where to find toiletries and other shower needs for the private bath. “Goodnight, Sakura. And, ah, maybe you could show me how to make a Taijutsr account in the morning?”

She was already getting into bed. “A Taijutsr account?”

“I hear that people draw art of  _Icha Icha_  on there,” he said gleefully.

Well, it wasn’t that bad of a catch. “Fine, I’ll do it. Good night, Ero-Hokage.”

“Do  _not_  let Naruto hear you call me that.”

“We’ll see what the quality of your breakfast is,” she yawned. “ _Good night.”_

He smiled, switched off the light for her, and shut the door.


	5. I Am Taken By The Sun (NaruHina)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NaruHina Week 2017 "Cravings"

_I am taken by the sun  
the gold and glorious sun  
_ _arms spread wide and my face toward the sky  
_ _I am singing at the top of my lungs  
_ _I am taken by the sun_  
Venus Hum, “The Bells”

Hinata was never a loud child. Growing up among the Hyuuga, everyone saw everything, everyone knew everything. There was no hiding her self, so she hid her voice.

“Say it again.”

“Naruto-kun,” she moaned, and felt him smirk against her thigh.

“Louder…”

His breath was hot on her clit. “N-naruto-kun!”

“Unless you’re a lot louder than that,” he said meditatively, “I don't think I’m doing my job right dattebayo… I want to hear you _sing_ it.”

Naruto was the first person she ever wanted to see her.

And when he really saw her, he surprised her by wanting to hear her too.

Her crying of his name rose in pitch and intensity as her hands moved helplessly in those wavy golden locks, her back arched, eyes shut tight against the brightness of her feelings.

By the time she came around his fingers and tongue, she was screaming.

Her eyes fluttered open as she felt him crawl up over her. Blue, blue eyes.

“I love the way you sound. Makes me feel good too, y’know?”

_“Well, what do you think, Hinata?”_

_“Wh-what… do I think?”_

_“Yeah. I really want to know.”_

_“I-I… I liked it…”_

_“Really?” He scratched his head. “I thought it was boring.”_

_“Oh, well, then, never mind…”  
_

_“No, I’d like to hear why you liked it! Maybe there’s something I’m missing dattebayo!”_

He brushed night-black hair from her face. “I’d really like to hear it some more, if you’re ready for it.”

“Mm. I am.”


	6. Cultivation (Yamato + children fluff)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for sumigakure Winter Wishes 2017.

"But when Naruto pulled back from the statue's mouth... his head was GONE!"

Five children screamed in delighted terror.

"No! That didn't happen! No way!"

"Was it really gone? Was there a lot of blood?"

"How did he get his head back, Papa?!"

"Shh! I want to hear what happened next!"

Kinpira, the youngest, said nothing and clung to his oldest brother Goma, the one who had confidently asserted it couldn't have happened, although Goma's red face was not nearly as bold as his words. His bloodthirsty sister Kinako showed no such hesitation, leaning forward with her eyes wide as saucers. The twins, Sanshoku and Hanami, were both more skeptical and cautious by temperament, although still eager to know the rest of the story.

Yamato let his scary face dissipate and smiled at his children. "Well, it was only Naruto playing a prank, after all."

Goma let out a breath. "Well! Of course!"

Kinako scowled. "Aww! I thought you were going to have to sew it back on or somethin'. Or maybe go on a quest to bring him back from the dead!" She waved her tanto with enthusiasm.

"Alright, that's a long enough break," Yamato said, standing back up. "Kinako-chan, you should practice your kenjutsu with Nii-san if you're so eager to wave your blade around. _Don't_ cut off any limbs this time. Auntie Sakura is very busy and doesn't need more work."

Goma shook off Kinpira and quickly pulled out his own blade with a wary look at his sister.

As the two of them attacked each other, Yamato resumed critiquing the twins as they alternated between earth and water release.

"Suiton: Mizu Shuriken no Jutsu!" called Sanshoku, firing off a half dozen water shuriken at his sister.

"Doton: Doryuuheki!" Hanami countered with an earth wall that was impressively large for her young age, but not as solid as it should be. The water shuriken made mud-like pock marks as they hit, and Sanshoku took advantage of the wall's blocking Hanami's visual range by aiming a taijutsu kick straight for them. The wall shattered and Sanshoku tackled his sister, pinning her to the ground with his kunai at her throat.

"Control is more important than size," Yamato instructed. "It will only become more important with wood release. A point for you Sanshoku."

Sanshoku got off and offered a hand in the unison sign, which Hanami accepted with a sigh, getting back up. They squared off and began again.

"Papa?"

Yamato looked down and saw Kinpira was tugging lightly on the hem of his vest.

"Yes, Kinpira-kun?"

"What if I don't have wood release?"

"Well, we can still teach you to be a splendid ninja, like nee-chan." Yamato nodded towards where Kinako was crowing with glee, hacking away at Goma's vines as fast as her brother could release them. "She doesn't have wood release, but she's doing just fine."

"I heard... you only had kids to try to create more wood release users..." Kinpira said softly, scuffing at the grass with the toe of his sandal.

"Where did you hear that?"

Kinpira blushed and half-shrugged. Yamato frowned. It wouldn't be one of his older brothers and sisters... but who else would Kinpira try to shield like this?

He squatted next to the five-year-old to put him at eye level. "Listen, Kinpira-kun. It's true that Papa wants to help the village by increasing the number of wood jutsu users. If you have wood release, you'll likely be more valuable to the village."

Kinpira's little shoulders slumped.

"But whether or not you have wood release, it won't make you any more or less valuable to me, Kinpira-kun," Yamato continued. "As your father, it is my duty--my privilege--to love you and your siblings and protect you. Each one of you is precious to me. There's nothing you can do to change that--and having wood release isn't even something you can choose, anyway. I don't love you because you're valuable to the village, but because you're my son. Does that help with what you were worried about?"

"Well... sort of..." Kinpira shyly formed his hands into seals, and thin tree roots extended from the ground.

"But this is wonderful, Kinpira!" Yamato exclaimed.

"But Papa..." Kinpira let the roots crumble away. "What if... I don't want to be a ninja? Is that... a waste of your time?"

Not wanting to be a ninja? Such a thing hadn't even occurred to Yamato... but as he looked into his son's eager, trusting eyes, so like his own with their large dark irises, he realized that this was the best thing he could give his children. The thing he had never been given when he was young: the ability to choose. From the time he was a tiny baby, he never ever got to choose.

"If you don't want to be a ninja, I'll support you," Yamato said. "But you have lots of time, you know? For right now, it's good to learn how to use all your talents, so you have more choices. And then, whatever you choose, I'll support you."

Kinpira brightened. "Okay, Papa."

"Dad!" screamed Goma. "Kinako tried to cut my finger off!"

"I did not! You were just trying to make me stop attacking by putting your hand up! Nii-san is a cheating coward!"

"You take that back!"

"Alright, alright," Yamato clapped his hands together and vines sprouted from everywhere, separating all the combatants. "I think it's about time to go to Amaguriama anyway."

The mention of the dango shop made all his children forget all other troubles, as he knew it would. He really did need to go to Amaguriama anyway. There was a pregnant woman at home who would be expecting that he bring her home at least a few dozen, after all.


	7. Heavy (KisaSaku, rated M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tattoo artist Kisame comes home from work and wakes up his med student lover Sakura for a little somethin' somethin'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honour of artisticsasquatch's [tattoo AU](http://artisticsasquatch.tumblr.com/post/163509506774/tattoo-au-1-revamp-is-thanks-to) and some of her NSFW headcanons that she honoured me by sharing. GOOD SHIT.
> 
> This is PWP! The sex itself is pretty vanilla but the emphasis on size difference etc is on the kinky/fetishistic side.
> 
> Also Smut Monday prompt "Feathers".

He woke her with kisses to her cheek and a massive hand that more than covered the curve of her breast under the tank top.

“Wake up,” Kisame whispered, “I need to fuck you.”

“Wha…?” Sakura blinked, confused, but when her eyes focused and she saw the expression in his eyes her mouth went dry and a cold thrill spread from her abdomen. She licked her lips and his gaze snapped to them and pressed a hot, hungry kiss to her mouth.

She whimpered as he thrust a hand into her panties, his thick, deft fingers rubbing her clit. “How do you want me?” she gasped when he moved his kisses to her neck.

“Naked and facedown,” he growled.

Her stomach flipped again in anticipation. He pulled off of her and yanked off his shirt as she undressed as well. Sakura bit her lip as she took the time to appreciate his muscular physique emblazoned with tattoos. His newest, a sakura tree, was in her honour. But that wasn’t her favourite of his body mods.

No, that would be the piercing revealed when he pulled off his boxers.

_“What the hell is that?!” Sakura said the first time they got naked._

_“Heh. It’s called an apadravya,” he said. “I think you’ll enjoy it.”_

Did she ever.

Once naked, she laid facedown on the mattress, thrusting a hand between her legs to rub at her clit as the mattress dipped as Kisame put a knee down. He was so big. So wonderfully, wonderfully _big._

Sakura moaned as the massive head of his cock prodded at her entrance.

“So eager already huh?”

And then he was in her and on her, his huge body completely covering her much smaller one, pressing her down into the mattress as his dick began to thrust in and out, the barbell through his glans stimulating her g-spot directly. She wanted to moan, but she could already barely breathe. He was so _heavy._ The only movement she could make was the tiny tremble of her left hand’s fingers against her clit as her head began to swim with the mild oxygen deprivation and the intense pleasure from Kisame’s cock.

“So tight,” he grunted above her. Her entire world was Kisame; every nerve on her surface and every secret place inside; she was stimulated by him all over. “Take it deeper. Take it.”

A strangled little groan as she felt her first orgasm shake her robbed her of more oxygen. Yet he kept on thrusting, his thick cock stretching her so full, the piercing with its wicked little rubbing directly where it was needed most, it was too much, too good. Time lost meaning as she came hard and came again.

“Fuck,” was her only warning before he pulsated deep inside, pulling out to leave her tender hole oozing with his cum. Kisame raised himself off of her and admired the pretty sight for a moment as Sakura took a deep, shuddery breath. Then he rolled into a spooning position and gathered her into his arms for a cuddle, dropping kisses light as feathers along her shoulders.

“Sorry I woke you up,” he murmured, not sounding very sorry at all. “I just… _really_ needed you.”

“That’s alright. Rough day?”

“Yeah. Fucking clients… never mind about that. You’re so beautiful…”

Sakura blushed and giggled a little at the besotted tone of his voice, so unlike the commanding voice he usually used when they fucked. “Isn’t ‘fucking clients’ technically what you do to me?”

“Hmm.” Kisame’s intertwined her thin fingers with his and rubbed his thumb over her fingertips. “But I didn’t end up giving you the tattoo, right? So you’re not really _my_ client, you’re Sasori’s. No conflict of interest.”

“Oh, so that’s why you passed me off to him,” she teased, then yawned. “Anyway, let’s go to sleep now, my practicum starts tomorrow you know.”

He pressed another kiss to the top of her ear. “Okay. I’ll make you breakfast.”


	8. Say My Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shino x Reader PWP

He begins with a massage, not just some kind of half-hearted excuse to run his hands everywhere, but a real massage, attentive and effective. His clever hands smoothly soothe away every lingering ache and tightness. The oil softens your skin and the scent fills your nose, luring you almost to the point of sleep, but then he begins small little touches here and there. Little brushes and skims that don't actually touch you where the desire is starting to take hold, until you’re almost squirming, and he rolls you onto your back. You open your eyes in time to see the top of his head at the crux of your thighs, and oh. _Oh_. How talented his tongue is, joining his fingers in pleasuring you.

There's no teasing anymore. He's totally focused on bringing you to orgasm, and he succeeds; his mouth is sucking on your throbbing clit while his hands keep your thighs spread wide for him. As soon as the last wave of your orgasm ebbs, his grip is changing. You’re boneless, utterly helpless under him from the great pleasure he's given you as he hoists your ankles over his shoulders and thrusts deep inside.

“Sh-shino!” You gasp.

“Say it again.”

“Shino!”

He thrusts harder. “Again. Who is fucking you?”

“Shino!” You moan, his cock is so perfect inside you. The sensations are almost too much.

“Who makes you cum?” He demands as his hips snap forward and back.

“You do, Shino,” You manage. “Ah!”

“Keep calling my name, because I want to hear it when I cum inside your cunt.”

“Shino! Sh-shino!” You keep up his name like a mantra. With your legs pushed up against your torso, his every stroke ought to be so deep as to be painful, but with how relaxed he made you before he started, all you feel is utter bliss, and soon the beginnings of another orgasm, almost frightening in its intensity. “Shino, I think—I think—!”

“Cum around my cock,” he says. “ _Now._ ”

And you do, screaming his name.

“I've never felt something that intense before,” you say drowsily as his softening, dripping cock finally pulls out of your body and he gently lowers your legs to the mattress. “You are amazing, Shino.”

“Thank you. Don't forget it,” he breathes into your ear, and you giggle as he curls protectively around you.

 _I could never forget you,_ you think as you drift into sleep.


End file.
